A Habit Forgotten

I’m back!

The two words above are far more true than I wish to acknowledge. In the end of this recent developments, I find myself back in a place where I was once very comfortable. But now, I feel like a square piece of a puzzle set that is being forced into a triangular hole. I have changed and now, when I want to pick up something I dropped some time ago, I find it difficult to even figure out where to begin from.

Does it matter why I dropped something I loved once? Does it matter that I feel lost, now that I have forgotten how I actually started it in the first place? Perhaps this is all just a boring post born from my fears of regression. After all, wouldn’t you interpret picking up an old habit once again as a reversed development?

This place I am in (physically, not mentally or in some other sense) is a place of several achievements. I started the now-forgotten habit in the truest sense in this place. I traveled on other’s journeys – hundreds of journeys, in fact – in this place. I even enjoyed leading myself on some unexpected paths as I wandered around in possibilities.

And it is here that I am now finding myself lost on how to locate the doorway to those journeys. For though I have forgotten the entrance, I cannot forget the journeys I planned to go and still haven’t completed.

It is now turning into a rant, I fear, within my head and so I must bid farewell now. I’m not going away. But I’m thinking that a journey back into myself is a journey long overdue.

A goodbye

‘Phir le aaya, ye dil majboor… Kya kijiye…
Raas na aaya, rehna door… Kya kijiye…’

(This miserable heart has brought us here again. What can we do?
It didn’t like staying away. What can we do?)

These last few days at my college has been quite eventful, perhaps even more than 50% of the rest of the four years. And, as the sky turned violet with the setting sun, I realized that this college gave me a link with so many other people (don’t expect a number too high though, since class of 2016, for example, is only 124 folks) whom I wouldn’t have ever possibly met and connected with.

We have, as individuals and in groups, cursed the college many times over the years for various reasons – some very major ones and some minor ones – but this is one thing I cannot take away from the things it gave us. It gave me all these people, though I didn’t get along with all of them, over my stay of four years where so many lives connected on a single junction that was this college.

So now, when it is time to say goodbye, it is difficult to proceed through the sorrow of the loss of this connection. I will undoubtedly lose most of these connections, due to negligence if not something else, in future and they will leave a hole in me as time passes – only to be replaced, if that is even possible. It is a strange feeling to be grateful to something we took, as a personal responsibility, to blame for all the bad things that happened to us (though it was guilty several times).

But in the end, the words that really matter are only two.

Thank you.

A goodbye

‘Phir le aaya, ye dil majboor… Kya kijiye…
Raas na aaya, rehna door… Kya kijiye…’

(This miserable heart has brought us here again. What can we do?
It didn’t like staying away. What can we do?)

These last few days at my college has been quite eventful, perhaps even more than 50% of the rest of the four years. And, as the sky turned violet with the setting sun, I realized that this college gave me a link with so many other people (don’t expect a number too high though, since class of 2016, for example, is only 124 folks) whom I wouldn’t have ever possibly met and connected with.

We have, as individuals and in groups, cursed the college many times over the years for various reasons – some very major ones and some minor ones – but this is one thing I cannot take away from the things it gave us. It gave me all these people, though I didn’t get along with all of them, over my stay of four years where so many lives connected on a single junction that was this college.

So now, when it is time to say goodbye, it is difficult to proceed through the sorrow of the loss of this connection. I will undoubtedly lose most of these connections, due to negligence if not something else, in future and they will leave a hole in me as time passes – only to be replaced, if that is even possible. It is a strange feeling to be grateful to something we took, as a personal responsibility, to blame for all the bad things that happened to us (though it was guilty several times).

But in the end, the words that really matter are only two.

Thank you.

[TV Show/Opinion] Castle Cancellation

Castle, a show I loved for the first seven years and didn’t return to for the 8th season after the terrible premiere reviews, ended its run this Monday. And considering all the mess it went through offstage and the last scene transition, I’m conflicted… Like countless others, undoubtedly.

The reason I got attached to Castle was the single observation Castle made in the first episode (“There’s always a story”) and I was curious about Beckett’s before the pilot ended. The humor and the romance (or the frustration of the “will they-won’t they”) also kept me engaged as a loyal fan.

So when Stana Katic’s departure was announced (along with another beloved Ms Jones), I honestly believed that ending the story would be the right thing to do. After all, the meaningless logic of LokSat and the split went off like a crazy speculation of Castle. (Captain Gates sudden departure didn’t help the premiere as well.) All the reasons to stick around were disappearing.

The result of the huge backlash was obvious. ABC cancelled it.

And then that series finale aired. Considering that final scene, I refuse to accept that the show runners really crafted the season with the possibility that the season finale might also have to become a series finale (which was also the scenario of season 7 and that reminds me of the reason that situation rose. Ugh, the tragedy of Castle disappearance arc: it just didn’t get necessary thought and attentive writing and simply attempted last-minute coverups). That last scene transition was so badly crafted that I really thought that it was something like an afterlife. What I am trying to say is that I didn’t like it.

It felt too convenient. Too much like a coward’s way out (though the show runners aren’t so because they did stick with whatever they came up with despite fans’ protests).

Though I am glad that Castle didn’t get ahead with a key player missing, I would really like to believe that there’s something really special that we lost out on… Because this end, this confusing mess, is not an ending. Sadly, it’s just a last-minute attempt to prepare a just-in-case scenario.

What’s happening behind the scenes?

It has been a quiet month or so on here and so I wanted to let you know what’s brewing.

Sadly, it’s not even coffee.

It’s exam time for me for this past month and still will be so for this month as well. I am extremely busy and this is why I have been away.

But I have also started going to a gym (day 10 today) and instead of losing weight, I gained weight. So, there’s that.

There will be a very incoherent post coming soon this way, I suspect, as the end of all this hits. But let’s get to that when I get there.

Happy birthday to this place… and me!

Happy birthday!

This place has been a wonderful medium for me to let most of my different parts out in the open. And now, on the second birthday of this blog, I would like to thank you, READERS, for trying out whatever nonsensical thing I spoke over.

I haven’t posted recently – the unplugged world is way too busy right now – but I assure you that whatever happens, I will return here.

I probably always will.

Oh, and happy birthday to me too!

Story Idea – Eclipsed

I won’t be taking this one on, most probably, so if you want it, take it. Just do comment here to tell me you are.

“My name is Amy Dawson. But ask anyone in my quiet and not-so-little town about Amy Dawson and they’ll say, ‘Amy who?’

You should have asked them about ‘The Fearless Amelia'”.

For the past twenty-five years of her life, Amy has been living under the shadow of her ten years old self who became a town hero. People always saw ‘The Fearless Amelia’ instead of her and had expectations that the plain old Amy kept falling short of.

So when she is accused of still living in the past while trying to help out her town still preserve its soul against the destructive demands of progress, Amy will have to find acceptance between the two contrasting sides of her: the hero and the girl who got consumed in the hero’s shadow.