The two words above are far more true than I wish to acknowledge. In the end of this recent developments, I find myself back in a place where I was once very comfortable. But now, I feel like a square piece of a puzzle set that is being forced into a triangular hole. I have changed and now, when I want to pick up something I dropped some time ago, I find it difficult to even figure out where to begin from.
Does it matter why I dropped something I loved once? Does it matter that I feel lost, now that I have forgotten how I actually started it in the first place? Perhaps this is all just a boring post born from my fears of regression. After all, wouldn’t you interpret picking up an old habit once again as a reversed development?
This place I am in (physically, not mentally or in some other sense) is a place of several achievements. I started the now-forgotten habit in the truest sense in this place. I traveled on other’s journeys – hundreds of journeys, in fact – in this place. I even enjoyed leading myself on some unexpected paths as I wandered around in possibilities.
And it is here that I am now finding myself lost on how to locate the doorway to those journeys. For though I have forgotten the entrance, I cannot forget the journeys I planned to go and still haven’t completed.
It is now turning into a rant, I fear, within my head and so I must bid farewell now. I’m not going away. But I’m thinking that a journey back into myself is a journey long overdue.