“Are you happy now?” I yell at the skies as if everyone in my life can hear me through it.
“Not really, no.”
Stupefied at the response, it takes me some time to realize that it came not from the sky but from behind. I turn around and I see her standing there with concern clear on her face. “This will keep you moving even as you take time to find yourself.”
She steps closer and I see the worry in her eyes. It’s a good thing we never felt the urge to be anything more than friends. I can’t lose my rock. I feel as if she’s giving me strength to go through this when she comforts me with a hand on my shoulder.
“How did you know? What you want to be, how did you know?” I ask her the one question whose answer still eludes me. She smiles sadly, already hinting at her next words.
“This is not an ‘one size fits all’ situation. You have to find your passion. If you do not think you have found it in all you have known so far, then tell me, what should be done next?”
I smile despite my melancholic mood because I see how she helps me make my decision than make them for me. “You want me to look beyond what I know. This is why you all made me join the community college. To expand my mindset.”
The embarrassed gaze tries to look away but I hold her face gently so that she can’t. Then, with absolute sincerity, I let her know what I think of all this scheming. “Thank you.”
“When tomorrow comes… ” I start, recalling a past desire of just getting by. “I want to be a worthy friend for you whenever you need me.”