Life frustrates everyone. All of us have some grievances with our lives (unless you are an enlightened person, in which case enlighten us too please) and most of these are so trivial and silly to others that we cannot do anything except hold them within us, providing them the perfect spot for them to grow and make us easily irritable. And then, when the growing grievances fill you to the brim, you explode and lash out at the world around you. The amount of damage you wreck (and later have to repair) depends on how much you manage yourself. And this is what I’m going to be talking about.
Welcome to the newest post of Narrating The Dream after a sudden break and I’m back to express my opinions on a topic that was supposed to be two individual posts. (<- Finally a start that sounds not like a know-it-all!)
As I mentioned above, little things – even those which have no meaningful impact on the rest of our day* – can aggravate us if we are not in the mood to deal with it. Be it a bottle of milk placed in a different place that usual, a breakfast that is not what you want to break your morning fast with or even a call from someone you usually like but would rather not even say ‘hi!’ to at the moment (and these are only scenarios for the morning – there can be a lot more for throughout the day), these little incidents can become an excuse for why you don’t like your life. The proverb ‘The grass is always greener on the other side’ suits us well in this case, when we would wonder how others deal with these annoyances as well (or better, how aren’t they annoyed by these things?)
And as I mentioned above, most of the time (and even the person annoyed would recognize this) the thing that annoys us the most is for a reason that is absolutely nonsensical and silly. Of course, 99% of us would think (if not say) in reply, “You don’t understand!” And of course they wouldn’t, because they aren’t you and have their own share of comforts and troubles. But can we explain things to them? Yes. Do we want to, though? No. Because in trying to make them understand, we risk letting go of secrets of our personal lives that we don’t want anyone to know.
I say that you know what? Along with those personal secrets, we also hold on to those grudges, not wanting to let others destroy them with their infallible correct logic. Because then we are left with the anger (that probably means we need some psychotherapy) that has no cause to exist. And that sounds like yet another thing to be annoyed about. (Do you too think there’s a paradox here somewhere?)
I know no way to deal with this, nor will I suggest one when there are possibly tried and tested routes for these things available out there.Just look for it, or even better ask for it. And this concludes the first part of this post. (I’m blank on this topic now.)
Let’s start with the second half of this topic: The way of explosion. Some people implode, lashing out at themselves and crying or harming themselves (both physically and/or socially), while others explode outwards by trying to inflict physical or mental pain on other people they (justifiably or not) blame for their pain and suffering. Extreme cases of these result in acts of violence (majority of which are criminal offenses) while even the mild cases would have you burning several metaphorical bridges with other people. You may offend or injure someone for no good reason, with your only defense being that you think they are responsible for the pain you couldn’t manage. It may not be the same as this above but in most of the cases, if not all, the third party folks would recognize your lashing out as baseless and would rather trust the one accused than the accuser (you). And so, only you would lose credibility.
But at this point, I must also note the existence of the third kind of folks, who seeming go through this unfazed. They appear outwardly calm and relaxed, making it as if nothing fazes them. And it is this category of folks that are the most unpredictable: They may either be resisting the urge to let go, heading for a collapse that could break them fundamentally or they may have found a way of release, helping them deal safely. The folks around them need to be cautious and determine which one it is they undergo.
In my life, I have seen folks who have lashed out at others, those who have lashed out at themselves, those who have numbed themselves to the pain – letting them build up over time and I have also witnessed some folks who looked as if they went through things unfazed. And this much I can say clearly, that none of them arrived on the other side of this unscathed.
*It can be argued that even the little things of the morning (or any time of the day, really) can severely affect the rest of the day, regardless of whether the action itself was a big one or small. There are things that we might have been taking as granted over time that, if altered in even the slightest of ways, may send our entire routine into a mess. It’s a great topic for argument and one I’m not taking up here. I already have dealt with two topics here.
So what do you think? Anything I should add or change?