People change with time, thoughts, actions and experiences. These things affect the life of the person, making him mould himself in adherence to these incidents. And what finally happens is that we don’t even recognize how much we have slowly and subtly changed. Habits die, new habits are picked up, and posture and speech characteristics change, thoughts processes are modified and more of these changes take place due to these influences and give us a version we just can’t fit with the description we would have confidently used for ourselves once. What else? We lose the sight of how we were… and of who we are now.
Welcome to this post of Narrating The Dream and this time, I am here to talk about the idea of reconnect.
First of all, I will discuss the idea of reconnecting with our own past self. Over the years, we have grown up and made plenty of decisions. Sometimes they went well, other times … well, enough said. There are often expectations and dreams that we have and more often than not, we shift them over as responsibility for our future selves. And when we do become that future self, we find that we have changed so much that those goals we set for ourselves so long ago mean nothing to us. A thing we craved for once is now something we are indifferent to, an act that always was entertaining is now a bore and some things just make us wonder ‘Was it really like that? I remember it quite differently!’ Fret not and just dive into the memories.
There will be regrets and smiles and grievances but if you just let yourself be lost back in the past, then you will be able to help understand what drove you back then and why. The best way to do this would be to reopen those dusty albums and books. Or if you are more digital, then look back on your facebook profile to see what was interesting to you before (and you can delete some embarrassing ones as well.)
If you are lucky, it will also help you find who you need to be now. In the past, we are not burdened by the negative feelings that we allow to consume us and often have much clearer insight about ourselves when we just observe ourselves with ‘fresh eyes’.
Then will come the second form of reconnect: with friends of the old or acquaintances of the past. Speak up if this hasn’t happened to you too. You met one of your old friends by accident (or maybe by design) and decided to spend time together for a chat and recollection. (You probably must have already guessed where I am heading.) You two have lunch/drinks/ whatever-it-is together as you talk about the things of the past. You discuss how others are doing and what you have been up to. And then… silence. The awkward silence settles in between as the uninvited third guest while you try to come up with more things to talk about. And the meeting only degrades further after that.
Why does this happen? Simple, because just like you, he has grown as well and what might have been enough to spend time (or waste it) back then is now simple unacceptable. And the lull you find is simply a result of the unfulfilled need to talk about. My best advice would be to just prod with questions about events he/she has been through or discuss some global/national/local news (though at the risk of appearing to be struggling to keep the conversation going) to break the lull. People say that it is all about ‘breaking the ice’ before settling in conversations and I agree. However, do note not to break any of common conservation rules or you might find that friend now hesitating for another meeting.
(Note this offers no guarantee of success. This is only my personal opinion.)
And lastly (that I can think of), the third form of reconnect: reconnecting with an idea or a concept. This can be either the easiest or the hardest, depending on how you have been in the in-between period. You had an idea once. It may not have been a brilliant idea to others but you knew that it had a lot of potential. But the timing for execution just wasn’t right. Or maybe something bad happened. And so, you walked away from it for a while. And now you have returned. Either of the two cases will happen.
Case 1: You reconnect with the idea because you still see the potential of the idea. The end (for this discussion only).
Case 2: You can’t reconnect with the idea. You try hard but you just can’t see the idea’s brilliance that once had you defending it with your every breath. It seems dull or unimaginative and you just have a feeling that it is not worth the effort. There are two ways to proceed now. Firstly, sit down in complete silence and think about the idea. And write every pros and cons that you can think of. Just try to settle down and remember why you thought the idea was the best at the time. Was it relatable? Or was it easy to pull off? Or just because it was fun? You will get the points with a fresh mind suitable enough for making a decision on whether the idea is worth working on or not. The second way is to get a second opinion from a person who wasn’t exposed to this idea initially. Let him/her try to speak things in favor and you play the devil’s advocate here. The unbiased ‘fresh eyes’ would help you understand what might have been going on in your head better.
Do you think there is some other form of reconnecting? Sound off below. (Also, there would not be any posts next week. I apologize but I would not be writing at all.)