People know it’s wrong to give in to it. Religion preaches not to let it consume you. Things often end up worse when we fall to it. Relationships are strained and regrets are born when we let it take over us. Welcome to the twelfth post of Narrating The Dream and this time, the topic of discussion is anger.
Anger controls our mind if we let it in the heat of the moment and loosens tongue so badly that even you cannot predict what will come out. It is as if our anger releases the gates for all our suppressed negative emotions to deal its blows, uncaring of what it ruins. We turn vicious in the heat of the moment, shouting every dirty secret of the other party, recounting every slight of the past and, if things degenerate further, delivering blows as well. And what happens when the heat, the anger, the fight leeches out of us? We end up drained both mentally and emotionally. And only strained, if not broken, relationships and regrets stick around for company.
It doesn’t matter why it happens. It doesn’t matter how it could have all been prevented. Because all that matters in the moment is how you act to it. What had to happen has happened and what happens next is our choice. WE decide what happens next: Do we control the situation before it gets out of hand? Or do we let it all manipulate us and make us reply to the situation with the blind anger controlling us? There is no doubt what should be preferred for the long term but knowledge isn’t worth anything when one doesn’t use it in appropriate scenarios.
I don’t say it is easy to do so. I still haven’t mastered it so don’t think I’m getting preachy or judgmental. The path is hard but from what I have heard, from what we later realize (and regret) and from what appears to be the ideal course of action, the self-control is worth it. Does this mean walking away? Sometimes, yes that is effective but not always. There are times when one must make a stand but in a firm and controlled manner. Don’t get agitated but don’t give in. That’s what they say, that’s what they preach. And to be honest, it sounds like they are right.
Then what should we do? We know that we can’t let our beasts. But does that mean we hold it in? Letting it stay inside, festering and growing within us and slowly corrupting us from inside as a different type of regret begins to gnaw at us? I don’t even have to say anything for anyone reading this to realize that this is not helpful at all. Because a time will come when there would be just too much to keep in and the explosion would take us out with it. So what do we do?
For the lucky ones, here’s a list of things I found on WikiHow that would work. Personally, they are good but a little too idealistic for me. I can try them, in fact I will try them, but I don’t have the complete faith in them working. But I found the first two of the tips to be (unsurprisingly) somewhat about what I was about to say. Consider it this way, if you may.
You are angry. Your mind and body responds to this by preparing huge amounts of energy. Instead of getting into blows, either verbal or physical, find out a way to let it out in a way that doesn’t involve you bashing the head of the offender into his/her skull. (<- Wow, I went a bit too creative there.) If you are into running, go for a long run. Or exercise hard and continuously (but carefully) until you let it all out. If you are a creative person, express it through your creations. Paint a dark picture. Write an angry scene. Compose a song full of negative emotions. But when you are done doing this, then do a 180 and turn to something light. Walk instead of running. Shower/bath instead of exercising furiously. Paint something bright and happy. Write a peaceful scene. Listen to happy/peaceful songs.
In short, first let all your anger out of you by using its energy for something useful to you. And then let peace and calm fill the void it creates. It isn’t easy to do, though easy to write and read. And you will fail, there’s no doubt. But over time and with practice, it can be learned. And isn’t that better in the long run?
So, what do you think about this strategy? It helped me. Does it help you too? What methods do you use?